Third a Kiss (GODDESS ISLES Book 3) Read online

  I felt every one of my twenty-two years. I felt worldly and guilty and fully aware of the mess that today would’ve caused. But I was also grateful to finally know what sex with Sully Sinclair would be like.

  I’d no longer have to wonder—even if he went through with his plan and sold me. Even if the awe, possession, and love in his gaze turned out to be elixir falseness, I’d taken something from him, just as he’d taken something from me.

  We were even.

  Marked and mutilated by mutual desire.

  This was justified.

  My hands balled as a stupid wash of tears raced up my spine. I didn’t know where such weakness came from, but I refused to shed them. I would not pity myself. I would not pity him. There was nothing to pity because magic had existed between us, and it’d been worth being reckless for.

  Wiping at a single droplet as it dribbled disapprovingly down my cheek, a noise ripped my head up.

  The slam of the front door, then the heavy thuds of shoes.

  I scrambled to grab the rumpled sheet, struggling to pull it out from under Sully’s prone, naked body. He lay on his stomach with one arm limp beside his chest and the other thrown over his head. His thighs were spread, revealing to this unwanted intruder the abrasions from too much sex between his legs.

  Cal appeared, slamming to a stop on the threshold of Sully’s bedroom. He held a black bag in his fist, his chest rising with harsh breath as he drank in the sight of us.

  “Well…you’re alive at least.” He wrinkled his nose, stepping toward the bed, deliberately keeping his stare off Sully’s naked ass.

  I flinched, pulling the sheet closer. Most of the cotton remained trapped under Sully’s unconscious bulk, leaving my top half exposed.

  I cupped my breasts, keeping my spine rigid. “Go away.”

  Cal’s green gaze turned mocking. “No need to cover up, Goddess Jinx. I’ve seen you naked many times before.”

  I glowered. “You’re not needed here.”

  “I say otherwise.” His handsome face softened just a tiny bit, his attention falling to the scrape on my cheek, the bite marks on my skin, the shadows of strangulation around my throat. “He really did a number on you, didn’t he?”

  I shivered. “I caused this.”

  “Yes, yes, you did.” His forehead furrowed. “What the fuck were you thinking, giving him a dose? I’m honestly surprised you’re still breathing.”

  I looked down at Sully, wondering if our voices slipped into his slumber. But his face remained lax, his tension still strained while comatose. “I did it because I wanted to know.”

  “To know what fucking him would be like?” He snorted. “Shit, you’ve become like the rest of those poor brain-dead creatures he calls goddesses.”

  I bared my teeth. “I might share similarities with them, but I have one thing they don’t have.”

  Cal smirked. “Throwing my words back in my face, huh?”

  “You told me that first morning when you took me to him that I’d made the biggest mistake by making him pay attention to me.” I spread my hands, not caring my breasts were on display, complete with chaffed nipples and bruises from Sully’s fingers. “But it wasn’t me who made him pay attention. It was both of us.” My voice lowered with strength. “I refused to let him sell me before he admitted that to himself—”

  “Admitted what?”

  I sighed. “Admitted that something happened between us…whether we wanted it or not.”

  He scowled. “You’re just like Calico and the other girls who’ve tried to crawl into his bed. You want this island. You want his money. You think by screwing his brains out that you’ll have access to paradise forever. Unlike them, you were smart. You gave him no choice. You fucking raped the bastard by giving him elixir.”

  I shot to my knees, uncaring that the sheet fluttered off my body. “How dare you. How dare you stand there and say I raped him when he’s been feeding that vile stuff to women for who knows how long. He drugs them, shoves them into a computer program, and then leaves them at the mercy of a man—”

  “There’s a fucking difference.” His voice slithered with ice. “The men don’t get elixir for a reason, Jinx. They go into Euphoria only getting what the women want to give them. They try to keep up. They might even pop a Viagra beforehand if they’re old, but they don’t have the power, you do. You’re the ones who gag for it, the ones who drip to be filled.”

  “How is that any different? A woman is given a drug to turn her into a mindless whore and a man turns into a humping monster. It’s the same—”

  “It’s not the goddamn same.” Cal swooped closer, towering over me. “It’s not the same because Sully has paid the price for his control. He isn’t the cunt you think he is, and you’ve just done yet another worst possible thing because, sure you might have fucked until you’re both under some delusion it could mean more, but he will never allow it to become more because you went behind his back. You broke his precious trust. You proved that no one can be trusted. Especially you.”

  Our fight hung in the air with lashing tails, animosity rife between us. I didn’t like Cal, and he didn’t like me. A competition had sprung between us. He saw me as a threat to his position as main confidant in Sully’s life. And I saw him as the blockade between me and Sully’s potential truce.

  Either way, nasty fear hissed through my blood. Could he be right? Could whatever closeness Sully and I had felt be a fleeting, fragile thing because of what I’d done? But if I hadn’t done it, I’d be on a plane right now flying to become Roy Slater’s wife.

  I had no choice!

  You did have a choice.

  You could’ve realised that your heart is a liar and an ignoramus.

  You should’ve known that you’d be scrambled from being kidnaped, trapped, and used.

  What if the emotions I felt toward Sully were terribly fake?

  What if I’d fallen into the same pitfalls any other girl who’d been imprisoned by a mercurial man went through?

  I fell for the monster…believing I could see the good inside him, when really…it could all be a lie.

  My voice mimicked a whisper as I said, “I’m not like them. I am trustworthy…if he deserves it.”

  Cal snorted. “Yeah, unbelievably trustworthy. First, you run away the moment his back is turned, and then, you drug him without his consent.” He rolled his eyes. “Way to prove your integrity.”

  “Integrity!?” I hissed. “How about we talk about his integrity. Your integrity. You two live on this island and play puppet-master with real people. People who had a life before Sully stole—”

  “Stop.” Cal’s hand shot up. “I’m done arguing with you.”

  Goosebumps shot over my flesh as he raked a hand through his hair and visibly shed his anger. He sighed heavily. “Look, I didn’t come to harass you. I actually came to save you.” He half-smirked, and our fight faded, leaving just icy worry behind. “If you must know, I came to stop him. I figured if he hadn’t finished with you by now, then you’d probably be almost dead.” He shrugged, depositing the bag on the bed by my feet. “Turned out, I’m too late to be of any use.” He looked down at his liege and master, keeping his gaze on his face and not his ass. “What I don’t understand is why he’s out cold already. He’s fit. He’s been suffering a severe case of blue balls—”

  “I think…” I hugged myself, accepting his armistice. “I think almost drowning interrupted the elixir’s potency.”

  “The what now?” He flashed me a look. “He fucking drowned?” Marching around the bed, he fought the mosquito net until the gauzy material fluttered out of the way. Reaching for Sully, he checked his pulse. Concern coated his face. “Why didn’t you call me? His breathing sounds weird.”

  I refused to be the bad guy for not calling for help. Yes, Sully most likely needed a doctor, but I wasn’t about to go traipsing around for one, especially with my own wounds and soreness.

  And if I was honest, I’d been afraid that the moment r
eality intruded on our private paradise, everything we’d done would be over. That it wouldn’t exist anymore.

  My shoulders slouched as I sat back on my heels and dragged the sheet over my lap. That one thought revealed just how feeble this plan had been. I’d been terrified of it being over because I already knew what would happen.

  Cal is right.

  Sully would never permit me to stay after what I’d done.

  I’d just signed my own bill of sale by going behind his back and forcing a connection when he didn’t want one.

  But he was familiar!

  You recognised his body.

  It was him in Euphoria.

  It had to be.

  I shook my head as Cal grabbed his cell phone and called for a doctor. My thoughts were in shreds, blended together with doubt and confusion.

  I don’t know what to think anymore.

  Exhaustion suddenly crushed me, begging me to rest. To close my eyes and forget about this whole sordid day. I needed to sleep, but I didn’t feel safe dropping my guard that much around Sully, even if he was unconscious.

  Sleep was a precious thing. The most vulnerable a person could be. Sully slept beside me under false pretences. He’d never have been able to rest around me without elixir draining him of everything.

  Unlike him, I’d kept my faculties while sleeping with him.

  And now…I’m ready to go.

  To lick my wounds in private and pretend the illusion of a door between us could keep me safe from whatever future he’d paved for me.

  Cal muttered something and ended his phone conversation. He caught my gaze, arching his chin at the bag he’d deposited by my feet. “Painkillers, healing creams, and vitamins. Take what you need.” His green eyes trailed over my injuries once again. “I suggest you have a bath and put arnica on your bruises. They’re gonna look worse in the morning.”

  When I didn’t climb off the bed, he muttered, “Use his bathroom. Heal whatever you can. I’ll take care of him.”

  I didn’t want to move while Cal watched my every twitch, but the thought of washing away my sins and popping a few anti-inflammatories overrode the stiffness and soreness, slipping me slowly out of bed.

  Refusing to make eye contact with him, I padded across Sully’s bedroom in my birthday suit. A sugar glider had made its home in the rafters, waking up too early for its nocturnal lifestyle. It watched me all the way to the bathroom with its gorgeous moon-size eyes.

  Crossing the threshold into Sully’s personal bathroom, I paused for a moment to soak it in. Just like the other bathrooms on this island, part of it was open-air. Unlike the other bathrooms, this didn’t pretend to use any rocks or plants for privacy. A black vanity took up the only real estate against a wall with a simple mirror above it. A toilet hid behind a glass smoky door, and the rest of the space welcomed the waterfall and its pool to be the main form of cleanliness.

  The bathtub rested right on the edge of the space, seemingly hung in place above the crystal blue pool, and the shower angled to spray the overflow directly onto the pebble tiled floor, draining and cascading through a carved river.

  A stag beetle sipped on the last few droplets still resting in there.

  This truly was utopia.

  A utopia with a demon in its midst.

  Twisting to look behind me, I drank in the sight of Cal as he strode to answer the door for the doctor, marched back to Sully, and crossed his arms while Dr Campbell treated his boss instead of his goddesses.

  Cal looked up.

  Our eyes locked.

  Without a word, I turned and closed the door.

  * * * * *

  Night had fallen by the time I opened the door and stepped back into Sully’s bedroom.

  I’d taken my time.

  I’d drawn a warm bath, added generous splashes of some sort of fragrance that made my heart skip in remembrance of Sully, and sank to the depths of the humongous tub.

  Resting my chin on the lip of the bath, I’d allowed my mind to drift while staring at the magnificent waterfall. Rainbow droplets fell in perpetuity, tumbling from its tower of rocks, and cartwheeling into brilliant blue below.

  With my stillness and silence, creatures appeared from everywhere, going about their business in the undergrowth, the treetops, and in the liquid below.

  Fish, herons, mice, a couple of monkeys, flocks of bright birds, and even a Komodo dragon slithered from the dense jungle and slipped, without a ripple, into the pool.

  I didn’t know how many were native to Indonesia and how many Sully had brought with him, but all of them seemed perfectly content and at home.

  He had a way with animals…pity he didn’t have the same intuition when it came to people.

  To me.

  If he did, perhaps things would be easy between us from now on, instead of the minefield I was terrified to face.

  Sleepiness grew harder to ignore the more the sun set and darkness descended. Male voices had ceased a while ago. The doctor had most likely left after treating Sully.

  Had Cal left too? Was Sully still catatonic?

  Either way, I couldn’t stay here any longer, wallowing in Sully’s bathtub, falling in love with Sully’s home, being lulled by Sully’s animals.

  I’d survived the risky endeavour of plying him with elixir.

  I had no clue if it had saved my future or condemned it…but my time had ended on this chapter. Whatever came next, I would keep my spine straight, my heart brave, and…survive.

  After I’d hauled myself from the bath, I’d applied arnica to the marks and shadows on my skin. Cal was right. Already the blue bruises had turned mottled with purple and black. Almost every inch of my body had some sort of brand from Sully’s ravishing. Places I hadn’t known were injured now held their own version of the story.

  If anyone saw me, they’d think I’d been horrifically abused. Sand had chafed my knees, elbows, and belly. My cheek held four deep scratches from the palm tree, my lips were swollen and slightly cracked from so much kissing, my hipbones held fingerprint shadows, my throat glowed with strangulation reminders, my nipples still peaked and slightly scraped, and three bite marks finished the masterpiece. Two on my neck and one on my inner thigh.

  My hair had suffered too, tangled and knotted from his fists, still untamed since I couldn’t find a hairbrush in Sully’s bathroom. Hopefully, with a few painkillers and some sleep, I’d rejuvenate enough that I wouldn’t have a constant reminder of what Sully and I had done every time I looked in the mirror.

  Especially if that mirror was somewhere else…somewhere in Roy Slater’s house.

  I winced, sucking in a worried breath.

  I wanted to shake Sully awake and demand to know his intentions. Had I proved a point today? Had I made him sit up and listen to whatever existed between us? Or had I only made him more intent on getting rid of me?

  Holding my breath, I left the relative safety of his bathroom and padded into the dark bedroom. Sully lay on his side with the sheet pulled over him, leaving only his torso and muscle-corded arms bare.

  Still asleep, his vulnerability drew me to him in morbid fascination. He looked younger and older. Innocent and more depraved. His lips were pressed together, his forehead still furrowed, his entire body stiff and uncomfortable.

  My heart squeezed as I moved closer still, unable to tear my eyes off the contours of his tanned chest, the sprigs of hair between his pecs, the way his arms flexed and threatened power even in his sleep.

  He hadn’t escaped his own injuries from our time together. His bicep had chafing, his lips sore like mine, and his hands held a cut or two over his knuckles. His pulse pounded in his throat, keeping time to his slumbering heartbeat, and moonshine snuck in from the deck, illuminating a puncture mark on his arm.

  An injection site.

  Whatever Dr Campbell had given him, I hoped it would prevent any complications from inhaling water and almost trading this life for a new one.

  My stomach ached all over again at the
thought that he could’ve died today. That this male with all his destructive malice and damaged misery might no longer exist.

  That would be a tragedy.

  That would be…karma.

  Karma for his ownership over those who should never have been bought. Karma for his heartlessness toward those who shared the same genetic makeup.

  Go, Ellie.

  Go before it’s too late.

  This was wrong. A voyeur in the dark. A girl who ought to hate this man but was not hating him at all.

  Biting my bottom lip, I sent motion to my legs to leave. Instead, they disobeyed me, closing the final distance between me and his bed. I bent without thinking, running my fingertips over his cheek.

  He flinched.

  He moaned.

  His eyes fluttered but stayed closed, his face twisted up in pain.

  Pain.

  Why pain?

  Why did closeness bring such agony to him?

  Pull away.

  Get back!

  My thoughts had loudened to shouting, but my fingers switched from feathering to cupping his cheek, feeling his warmth, his realness, his existence.

  Go, run. Don’t do this to yourself.

  You’re smarter than this, damn it!

  You’re being an idiot.

  I held my breath as I ran my thumb over his bottom lip.

  His entire body jolted.

  His eyes flashed open, wide but not awake. The sea blue of his pupils had turned cobalt with misty memories.

  I gasped as he lashed out, snatching my wrist. “You.” His voice sounded like crushed-up nightmares.

  Gulping, I tried to pull away. He just jerked me close until I tripped onto the bed, onto him.

  “Come to haunt my dreams for the third time?” He nuzzled into me, sucking my ear lobe, biting me in punishment. “Well this time, I won’t let you go.” His leg kicked off the sheet until he was free. Manhandling me until I lay on my side with my back to his front, he pulled me into him so every inch of our bodies kissed.

  Skin to skin.

  Soul to soul.

  He groaned as he spooned me, not gently but furiously. As if angry with me. Livid with me. But…not with me because he didn’t see me; he only saw a figment of his dreams.