Tears of Tess Read online

  His face softened, looking so handsome in the dim interior lights. The glow highlighted his smooth jaw, blue eyes, and floppy brown hair. His strong arms and stocky frame screamed builder. Hell, I loved how he stood so big and strong. He could dominate me so easily… but never did. He treated me like glass. Special cut-crystal—placed me on a pedestal where I had to shine and remain dust free and perfect.

  He pressed his forehead against mine. “I love you, too. I’m so happy we’re spending this time together.” He pushed his meal away, or as much as he could on the tiny tray-table, and awkwardly reached into a pocket. “I have a present for you. To remind you of this amazing holiday.”

  I couldn’t breathe. My tongue turned into a brick and saliva morphed into mortar.

  He dropped a black velvet box into my lap then rubbed the back of his neck. “I know we’ve been together for two years, and I love you with all my heart, Tess. But each year I spend with you, I grow more and more nervous I’m going to lose you.”

  Suddenly, the cabin stifled with old demons from our pasts, haunting us. I leaned over, kissing his lips gently, just the way he liked. My heart hurt for him. Would he ever get over losing his parents? The doctors said his night-terrors would stop eventually, but it’d been six years since his folks died, and he still couldn’t fall asleep without pills.

  I whispered, “You will never lose me, Brax. Never. I swear it.” I kissed him again and his lips opened under mine. His tongue flicked out and licked my lower lip, sending heat shooting like little stars.

  I moaned and pressed harder, opening wider, forcing more intensity.

  He pulled back, smirking shyly. His eyes darted around the cabin as if we’d be reprimanded by the flight attendants.

  I murmured, “Can I open it now?”

  His face flashed with confusion. “What?”

  Feminine satisfaction swelled, I’d distracted him enough with a kiss that he’d forgotten. “The gift. Can I open it now, or wait till we get to the hotel?” Boldness sizzled and I whispered, “Because I have a present for you, too, but you have to wait till we arrive.” My voice, layered with husky welcome, caused his nostrils to flare.

  “Y—you can open it now.”

  I grinned, grabbing the box, happier than I’d been for a while. Brax was responding. Captive audience, I supposed.

  I cracked open the box; my heart flurried. “Brax, it’s… gorgeous.”

  “You like it?” His voice heightened to boyish delight as he plucked the bracelet from its cage of velvet.

  “I don’t like it. I love it.” I placed the box on my lap, holding out a wrist. I couldn’t tear my eyes off the dainty silver jewellery. It symbolized us: gentle love hearts entwined with silver strands, the occasional glint of diamonds at the centre of each heart.

  Brax’s fingertips grazed the underside of my wrist, securing the clasp. I shivered, sucking in a shaky breath.

  “Tess … I—”

  Tension blossomed between us, like a fast unfurling flower, and I ached. Ached for him. Ached for connection. Ached for his body inside mine. Something hot seared in our gaze, and Brax clenched his jaw.

  He dropped his eyes, breaking the spell.

  Pretending nothing happened, I rested my head on his shoulder, inspecting my new bracelet. “I’ll never take it off.”

  He sighed, snuggling closer, kissing the top of my head. “I don’t want you to. It’s yours forever. Just like me.”

  I inhaled sharply, breathing in his soft apple scent from our shared body wash. Would he ever stop making me hurt and heal at the same time?

  “Forever,” I whispered and closed my eyes.

  * * * * *

  The next time I awoke, tyres bounced on the runway, and in a foggy haze, we disembarked. The airport was manic, even at one in the morning, and we let the sea of passengers guide us through immigration and processing.

  By the time we headed outside to the awaiting taxis, my scratchy eyes felt like a cat had mistaken them for cat-nip, and my mind was cotton wool.

  I let Brax lead the way, following obediently while he searched for our driver to the hotel.

  “Stay here. I’m going to ask at the info desk. The hotel should’ve arranged a shuttle for us.”

  He parked the suitcases by the curb, and I took his laptop satchel, blocking it with my feet. I plonked on top of one of the cases. “No problem. I’ll guard the bags.”

  He caressed my cheek. “I’ll be right back.”

  I smiled, capturing his hand as he pulled away. “I’ll miss you till then.”

  With a grin, he turned and headed the way we’d come. I admired his fine butt in his baggy jeans. Just once, I’d love to see him in a nice suit, or at least some fitted trousers. No matter how many compliments I rained on him, Brax acted forever self-conscious. Silly man. He didn’t see the way other women looked at him, but I did. My claws unsheathed every time.

  Ten minutes passed, while I sat in the little oasis our bags created, and my nerves steadily grew. Mexico was loud, boisterous, and the air hung heavy and wet with humidity. We were used to the heat in Australia, but that was dry heat. The moisture saturated my clothes, turning my curly hair limp.

  “Excuse me, señorita.”

  I twisted on the case, looking behind me. A good-looking Mexican man took off a baseball cap, bowing slightly. His black eyes assessed, making me squirm on the inside.

  “Yes?” I asked, standing upright, looking for Brax out the corner of my eye. Where the hell was he?

  “I wondered if you were here on your own? Do you need a lift somewhere? I have a taxi. I can take you wherever you need to go.”

  A wide smile showed stained teeth and skin crinkled around his eyes in a friendly way. My instincts didn’t flare into panic mode; I relaxed a little. “No, thanks. I’m here with my boyfri—”

  “Tess?” Brax appeared like an apparition, glaring at the man. “Can I help you?”

  The man backed up, putting his baseball cap on. “Not at all, señor. Just wanting to make sure such a pretty girl stays safe. This city is not good for women left alone.”

  Brax puffed his chest, dragging me toward him. My eyes widened as his arm clenched around my shoulders. “She’s safe. Thanks for your concern.” He turned to me, dismissing the man entirely. “I’ve found the shuttle, you ready to go?”

  I nodded, looking to where the man had been, but he’d disappeared—swallowed by the heaving crowd. I bit my lip; just how safe was this country? I’d heard the horror stories, as well as the great regales. Either way, I wouldn’t be letting Brax out of my sight again. I wasn’t stupid enough to think nothing could harm me.

  Dragging our suitcases, we made it to the shuttle bus, and spent the next forty-five minutes bouncing and swerving on Mexican roads. The traffic was psychotic—an accident begging to happen—and my heart remained in my throat most of the way. Traffic lights meant nothing, and scooters were given right of way. Pedestrians and cyclists threaded like a massive, living organism at two in the morning. If it was this crazy now, what the hell was it like during normal hours?

  It seemed life never slept here. Every bar we passed, pumping with Salsa dancers and spicy tunes, dispelled my sleepiness. I wanted to dance, to rub against Brax, to drink yummy cocktails, and enjoy ourselves.

  I immediately loved Mexico.

  I’d gone my whole life thinking I was timid, brow-beaten, and unwanted by my family, only to find I was a lust-filled dancer, with so many dark desires. This trip would allow me to inspect who I truly was, to be honest, and find the real me. To stop being Tess, the girl who hadn’t stood up for anything in her life—the girl who morphed into what others wanted—and evolve. I’ll find the true Tess. My stomach twisted. What if the real me wasn’t worthy of Brax?

  We pulled up to a sweeping resort with huge carvings of sombreros and tropical fruit. A fountain jetted water so high, it almost touched the three story ceiling.

  A bellhop took our luggage and Brax checked us in. I wandered in blis
s and wonderment. The resort was a living jungle: palm trees, ferns, and exoticness in every corner.

  I thrummed with anticipation. I didn’t care we’d been awake for twenty-four hours. I wanted to explore and walk along the beach I heard in the distance. The soft slap of waves on sand enticed skinny-dipping and making love under the moonlight.

  Arms banded around my waist, pulling me backward. I gasped, landing against hard muscle and wrinkled clothing. Brax kissed my collarbone; I shuddered. “Ready for bed, hun?”

  Oh, yes, I was definitely ready for bed. More than ready.

  I nodded breathlessly.

  Brax swivelled me in his arms, taking my luggage at the same time. A bellhop stood behind, smiling indulgently. “Please, go ahead. I’ll bring your bags.”

  We entered the lift, and the bellhop squeezed in, too. The mirrored interior reflected in every direction. My hair was a tangled bird’s nest, my sheer blouse crumbled and ready for a wash, and my grey-blue eyes sparkled with lust and love.

  I hoped Brax saw what twinkled in my soul. How much I cared for him.

  His blue eyes were warm and content as we disembarked the lift, making our way to our room. The corridor was a wide balcony, open-air with huge potted ferns and little cosy seats arranged for privacy.

  “This one, if you please, sir,” the bellhop said, pointing to a door as we walked.

  Brax grinned and inserted the key card. Once he placed the card in the little holder by the door, soft light illuminated. I moved forward in a trance.

  The room was perfect Mexican décor of carved wood and bright paintings, the bedspread was a fiesta of colours and textures. Hand woven rugs in purples, reds, and yellows littered the hardwood floor.

  I squealed in childhood amazement and dashed to the balcony. The gloom of darkness whispered magically as I listened to the waves hissing on the shore.

  Heaven. I’m in heaven.

  Brax tipped the bellhop and closed the door. I twisted to face him, breathing accelerated. We were finally alone after a crazy long journey.

  My new bracelet tinkled, overflowing my heart with joy. I stepped toward him. Brax held out his arms, looking tired but happy.

  Fitting me into his embrace perfectly, he rested his chin on my head. “Sorry I couldn’t afford five stars, Tessie.”

  My eyes widened. We were in the middle of a dream and he worried he couldn’t give me more. Couldn’t he see this was perfect?

  I didn’t respond. Instead, I captured his face in my hands. He froze, staring deep into my eyes. I sent messages of hunger and hot swirling need. I wanted to crawl inside his soul and light a fire to match the flames licking me.

  I kissed him.

  Brax tilted his head, allowing my tongue to slink between his lips, but he didn’t gather me closer. Come on. Please, need me, too.

  I kissed harder, pressing against him with an urgency growing out of control. I was too hot. I needed him too much, for far too long. I should’ve spoken sooner—told him how badly I needed to be possessed. For months, I felt cast adrift, like he was no longer my anchor. I needed him to remind me I belonged to him, just like he belonged to me.

  Brax chuckled beneath my kisses, twisting his lips. “What’s got into you, Tess? You can’t keep your hands off me.”

  My stomach twisted; I blushed. “Is it so bad I want you? Need you? We’re in a new country. Can we celebrate our first night?” My eyes flew to the bed and back to his gaze. “We could have a shower together, then I can show you my present.”

  My present consisted of dressing in fishnet tights, garter belt, and the ridiculously expensive push-up bra I bought. I’d planned it all. I’d strut my stuff, and Brax would gawk, making me feel like a goddess. I’d massage him with strawberry body oil, until he couldn’t stand it any longer and secured my wrists with my knickers. He’d take me from behind, our bodies slip sliding intoxicatingly, arousing me beyond belief. I’d even been to the beauticians and had some rather painful waxing in my nether regions especially for the occasion.

  I trembled at the thought of Brax’s gaze darkening, his body becoming feral and possessive.

  He pecked my lips, groaning, “I’m super tired. Can we rain check till the morning?”

  Disappointment flooded my bloodstream, dousing my need like ice water. Even though it killed me and tears tickled, I dropped my arms, releasing Brax from my embrace. “That’s okay. I understand.”

  He sighed. “Okay, okay. If you need me so badly, I’m game.” His voice was resigned, but he smiled tiredly.

  Are we really this stale?

  Passion fizzled to fear. I couldn’t show him. Not now. Not when he seemed happy with vanilla and missionary every other month. I didn’t want him thinking I was a sexual deviant, or ruin our holiday before it’d even begun.

  I made up my mind not to spill my secrets. It was a mistake to think I could. “No, you’re right. It’s late. We should go to sleep,” I muttered.

  Moving away, I didn’t get far before Brax captured my elbow. Groaning, he ran a hand through his brown hair. “Why did you do that?”

  I blinked. “Do what?”

  “Lie. You never lie.”

  Shame shimmered over my skin; I looked at the bright rug on the floor. “I’m sorry, Brax. I just—I don’t want to show you anymore.”

  He straightened, sucking in a breath. “Why? What’s changed?”

  Useless tears invaded my eyes. Stop tearing up! It wasn’t bad—just different. But I no longer wanted different. I wanted to please Brax. I hated being selfish. I’m a horrible person.

  He ducked, looking into my watery gaze. “Hey, Tess. What is it? Tell me.” He pulled me to the bed and into his lap. I huddled into his chest.

  What if I told him and he hated me? He’d pull away and leave me alone, just like my parents. I’d be another mistake.

  I didn’t answer, letting him rock me, trying to untangle my jumbled thoughts.

  Brax murmured, “Remember how we met? What you said to me?”

  Of course, I remembered. He’d made me bleed. Our first encounter didn’t exactly conform to first meeting etiquette. I giggled quietly. “I called you an arse.”

  He laughed. “Not that.” Stroking my back, he dived into past memories. “I was walking Blizzard on the beach and threw a stick for him. Out of nowhere, this girl careened like a fallen angel, completely out of control I might add, on a kite board. She bounced along the surf, splashing and spluttering, before a huge gust of wind catapulted her out of the water and right into the face of my husky.”

  A phantom injury twinged at the memory. I’d been a flipping idiot to think I could kite board. It had been a ‘get outside my comfort zone’ attempt. It failed. Rather drastically.

  Brax continued, “I couldn’t believe it when your kite took off down the beach, dragging you and my dog with it. I managed to pounce on you, but it took a good half an hour to untangle you from Blizzard with all those strings and harnesses.” His gaze darkened. “I was so worried when I finally got you free. You were bleeding pretty bad from your shoulder and had a black eye. My poor dog had a sore paw and a broken stick.” He ran a finger along my cheekbone.

  The broken stick had caused the bleeding shoulder. Freakin’ stick.

  “I asked if you wanted to go to the hospital, and you asked if it was really that bad. I didn’t want you to freak out, so I lied. I said it was just a scratch, when in reality it was a gaping hole, gushing with blood and bits of bark sticking out everywhere. I lied ‘cause I didn’t know what to say.”

  I flinched. It had been pretty bad. Earned me eight stitches, but Brax never left my side.

  “I lied and you said—”

  “Never lie. The truth hurts less than fibs and fakers.” I remembered that day as if it happened two hours ago. I’d been hurt, because it was my eighteenth birthday and my parents forgot.

  “The truth hurts less than fibs and fakers,” Brax repeated. “That’s always stayed with me because it’s so honest and raw. It told me s
o much about you and made me fall in love. So many people lied to me about my parent’s death. Glossing over the darkness, and hiding the gnarly truth.”

  His arms latched tighter, pressing me hard against him. “Not having the chance to say goodbye will haunt me forever. And not knowing the truth about why they crashed eats at my soul.”

  His eyes burned into mine. “So, Tess. Don’t lie to me. The truth is the only path for us.”

  I nodded; he was right. I should never have brought it up if I didn’t have the guts to follow through.

  “Let me go. I’ll show you.” Please, please like it. Like me.

  He reached for my hand, squeezing my fingers. “I’d like to see whatever you want to show me.”

  I bit my lip. His eyes changed from crisp blue to smouldering cerulean. Hot happiness scorched me, and I kissed him. “You have no idea what this means to me.”

  He ducked his head, looking through half-lidded eyes. “I think I do.” Helping me off his lap, he tapped my butt. “Go. Be quick, so I don’t fall asleep.”

  My new confidence deflated. Can I really ask him to change?

  Brax groaned. “Tess, you’re over thinking it.” He pulled me back, wedging me between his spread thighs. “I’m never letting you go. So whatever it is, don’t be afraid.” He dropped his hand, capturing the silver bracelet. “I hope you know this isn’t just a bracelet to me.” His fingers stroked the underside of my arm; I shivered. “It’s a promise of more. When I can afford what you deserve, I’ll make you mine.”

  I leaned in and hugged him tight. “I’m already yours.”

  His breath turned shallow and he leaned up to kiss me. It started innocent, sweet, but slowly, he tilted his head, kissing deeper. His hand dropped to my waist, closing the remaining distance. His tongue licked mine in gentle invitation.

  I clenched my hands on his shoulders as I warmed, shedding fear and uncertainty. I moaned as he nibbled my bottom lip, reaching behind my neck to make me bend into his kiss.

  Everything clenched, revved, and grew slick with need.