Fable of Happiness Book One Page 19

  She sighed heavily. “And I get that. I do. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through. But...” Taking a step toward me, she gave me a soft smile. A terrifying smile. A smile that arrowed its way through my ribs and pierced my rotten heart. “I’m not your enemy. What we just did—” She shrugged helplessly, looking exactly how I felt. “I’ve never experienced that before. Ever.”

  “We were fighting. It was a messy overflow from one violent act to another.”

  “Perhaps.” She nodded, brushing away wet hair. “But perhaps it’s more than that and we both don’t want to admit it. I know I don’t. The more minutes that pass, the more I’m struggling with it.” She swallowed and dropped her stare, her honesty harsh in her throat. “How can I ever justify sleeping with a man who hunted me with the single intention to kill me? How stupid could I be to let you come inside me with no protection, no discussion of birth control or disease—”

  I coughed. I couldn’t help it.

  The cough turned into a cold snicker which morphed into a snarl. “You have nothing to worry about from me. It’s been eleven years since I’ve been with someone and I can’t get you pregnant.”

  She froze. Her forehead furrowed. “Eleven years?” Her eyes widened as her thoughts ran riot. “Wait...does that mean it’s been eleven years since you’ve seen anyone or just been with someone?” Not giving me time to reply, she rushed, “And how do you know you can’t get me pregnant?”

  Normally, I would ignore her question. If we were back at Fables and she was safely imprisoned in my basement, I would toss her some food and lock the door between us. I would flee before her question had the chance to rip holes in my mind and allow memories to skulk into the light.

  But...we were alone.

  In a raindrop-drenched forest and, for once, I wanted to share the dreadfulness inside me. I wanted her to know, just a tiny fraction, of the fucking hell that I’d survived. “I know because they neutered me. Those balls you were squeezing as if they’d save your life? They’re utterly pointless. All Fable boys are sterilized. It’s the very first thing they do when we arrive.”

  If stillness could ice over and solidify into stone in one breath, she did it. Her body went frigid, her eyes wild. “What did you say?”

  I shrugged and raised the keys. “Backyard vasectomy. My first official memory of this place.” Pressing the unlock symbol on the remote, the clunk of the doors opening was faint in the fading storm.

  I’d shared a piece of me.

  It was time she shared a piece of her.

  I stalked toward the vehicle.

  “Oh no. No way.” She planted herself in my way. “We need to talk about what you just told me. I-I can’t comprehend...you can’t just say something like that and then not elaborate.”

  “No, we don’t need to talk. And yes, I can.” I shoved her to the side. “I’m far more interested in seeing what’s inside there.” Reaching the back of the vehicle, I swung the tailgate wide and shoved up the half window.

  She rushed to my side, protective and possessive. “Don’t. Don’t touch anything.”

  “What? Think I’m going to destroy everything?” I smiled icily. “I’ve already touched you.” I dropped my stare from her mouth to her breasts to her pussy. “And you’re still in one piece.”

  “No, I’m not,” she whispered under her breath before elbowing me aside. “You’re getting everything wet. Close the door.” Reaching for the raised window, her breasts rose and I couldn’t stop myself.

  Snatching her close, I bent and sucked on her nipple.

  Cool and fresh like rain, earthy and gritty like dirt.

  She bowed in my arms then shoved me away. “Stop We need to talk not—”

  “I have nothing to say to you.” I let her go. I wasn’t lying that I was more interested in her possessions at this point than her body. I’d already had her body.

  And she was right.

  Neither of us was in one piece after what we’d done.

  And I fucking hated it.

  I needed something else to focus on before I lost my ever-loving mind.

  My eyes scanned her bags and supplies, settling on water containers, blankets, cables, and rope.

  Rope.

  Instantly, self-preservation kicked back in. My head still swam. My skull still throbbed. My heart felt strange from being inside her and my mind was confused with the bizarre bond that’d sprung between us.

  It all tried to soften me, cajole me, lie to me that whatever this was...it could be a new way of life. I could have this. Whatever this was. A companion. A confidant. Friend.

  But it wasn’t real.

  What was real was everything knotted inside my head. The scars full of evidence. The house full of screams.

  I would never forget.

  Never be free to forget—no matter how much I lied to myself.

  Which meant I couldn’t let down my guard, or trust, or hope, or allow her to trick me any worse than she already had.

  Tossing the keys to the side, I grabbed a length of rope.

  Soft teal cord speckled with highlighter pink threads. It glittered as I jerked enough from the coil before spinning around and grabbing my trespasser.

  For a second, she scowled. She didn’t see my threat, nor believe I was capable of returning to our prior dynamic before we’d broken each other. She treated me as if we were normal—as if our cursed beginning had somehow morphed into an average relationship.

  That would never happen.

  It can’t.

  She wasn’t welcome here, yet she wasn’t permitted to leave.

  She was mine to fuck, kill, or betray.

  She’s still my enemy.

  Her shock gave me enough time to grab her wrists, bind them together, and wrap the rope tight around her.

  Her mouth fell open as she jerked back, doing her best to fight me off. “Seriously? You seriously just tied me up after what we just did?”

  “Perhaps it’s because of what we just did.”

  I’m hurting.

  Give me time to figure this shit out.

  “Argh! You don’t give up, do you?”

  I kept my voice flat and cold. “Not while you’re still breathing, no.”

  She sucked in a worried breath. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  I rolled out my shoulders. “It means, if you keep pushing me, I’ll keep pushing back.”

  “If you let me go, then there’s nothing to push against. We had sex. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

  Fuck, yes.

  It’s screwed me up and blown me apart and I’m barely fucking functioning.

  Gritting my teeth, I checked the tightness of her knots, forcing myself to hiss, “No. It meant nothing.”

  Tearing her wrists away from my grasp, she snarled, “You’re unhinged.”

  Tell me something I don’t know.

  “I don’t particularly care what you think of me.”

  “Well, you should. If you got out of your head for just two seconds and let yourself feel, then you wouldn’t be able to do this.”

  I laughed blackly. “Emotions are the reason I am the way I am.”

  “Emotions you’ve suppressed and not dealt with.”

  Our eyes met, fight to fight, anger to anger. “I don’t need psychiatric help from a girl who climbs rocks for a living.”

  “Well, you need help from someone.”

  “And that someone definitely isn’t you.”

  She huffed. “You’ll regret this. If you kill me after what we just did, what we just felt, then you’re not just full of demons, you are one.”

  “Who said anything about trying to kill you?” I cocked my head, my breath harsh.

  She narrowed her gaze, searching for a trap. Raising her bound wrists, she sneered, “Why tie me up then?”

  “To stop you trying to escape.” I pointed at the Jeep and rolled my eyes, wincing against my headache. “That is what you were trying to do, was it not?”

  She du
g her toes into the mud, rage planting her in place. “I need to go home. I have people who will be worried about me.”

  “Not my problem.” Grabbing her wrists again, I tied another knot, just to be safe. I ensured the restraints were tight enough not to wriggle out of but not too tight to cut off circulation.

  “I hate you,” she spat as I relinquished her hands.

  “That makes two of us.” Turning, I grabbed her keys again and opened the pen knife dangling from the chain. Using the knife, I sliced off the rest of the rope, leaving a small leash to drag her by.

  Glancing up, I made the mistake of looking at her face.

  Fury didn’t begin to describe her. Disbelief definitely, hate certainly, but something else swam inside that made my heart fist with daggers.

  She was hurt.

  She’d been stupid enough to believe something had happened between us. Something good. Something that would protect her from her fate.

  Then again, I’d known she was stupid from the first moment she’d offered herself to me. This was just further vindication.

  Eventually, she’ll learn not to trust me.

  Even I learned that lesson.

  Her nostrils flared as she tried to get her temper under control, swaying in the rain, naked apart from the colorful rope tight around her wrists. “Why?”

  A tiny, three-letter word but one that asked so much.

  “Because I have no choice.” Looking down at the keys in my hand, I flinched. They had the power to take her away from me. They could give her back her life and take mine away all in one go.

  She can never go back.

  She knew too much now.

  She could never be trusted.

  And...I want to keep her.

  I’d lost everything.

  Everything I had ever cared about had been snatched from me.

  This time will be different.

  Her keys had to go. They had to fly far away from here so she could never find them.

  She cleared her throat, shifting on the spot as if nervousness siphoned through her. “Don’t...don’t do what I think you’re going to do.”

  I looked up.

  Her hazel eyes were deep brown to match the darkness around us. No green shone. No light. No sweetness. Once again, she could read me. How that was possible, I didn’t know. But something had alerted her to the fact I hated her keys. I loathed her car. I wanted to shove both off the cliff and watch them burn.

  Walking into me, she landed her bound hands on my naked chest. I’d ripped off my shirt halfway through the hunt. It was back on the trail somewhere, wet and abandoned.

  “Please, whatever your name is. I beg you. If you’re so concerned that I’ll tell people about you, come with me. Stay locked by my side and censor every word that comes out of my mouth. Just...please let me go home. If you allow me to see my mother and brother, to give them peace of mind that I’m okay...I’ll-I’ll...” She gulped and forced herself onward. “I’ll come back with you. We’ll drive back here together. I’ll come and stay with you for a while. Two lonely people living in one house instead of two.”

  I sneered. “You honestly expect me to believe that once you’re back in society you wouldn’t turn on me in a second? That you wouldn’t find some way to have me arrested?”

  “You have my word.”

  “Your word means nothing.”

  Anger fired up her cheeks. “No, your word means nothing. You said I’d survive another day. That you wouldn’t try to kill me.” She glanced at the mud where we’d battled, where body indents scarred the earth, leaving behind a symbol of the sex we’d shared and the misery we’d caused. “That if I did what you asked, I’d live.”

  Bending over her, I held her stare and murmured, “I’ll make you a new deal. You were right when you said sex with you felt different. It could’ve been the eleven years of celibacy that made it so fucking intense, or...it could’ve just been you.”

  It was definitely you.

  She winced as I ran my thumb over her bottom lip. “I won’t lie and say I don’t want more. I fucking loved being inside you. I loved how you fought me back. How you fought for more. How explosive it was between us.”

  “You think I’d let you sleep with me again if you continue to hold me captive?”

  I shrugged. “It’s not like you’ll have a choice, is it?”

  “Fuck you.”

  “They’ll be plenty of that, I promise. When we get home, you have my word that you will live. I won’t lay a hand on you in violence unless you deserve it. I won’t try to kill you unless you try to run. You can live.”

  Her chest rose and fell with rage. “How very kind of you, you bastard. What a fucking joke! Are you that broken that you can’t be kind to anyone? I’m not just someone you can lock away and screw whenever you have the urge, you know! I have a life. A career. I can’t believe I let you inside—”

  “Hush.” I cut off her tirade. “I’m sure, in time, I’ll get used to having a pet around the house. But from now on, you’re pulling your weight. You will help me gather and prepare. You will do what I do to ensure we survive winter together. You will open your damn legs whenever I command. You will get on your knees whenever I’m hard. And, who knows, maybe in a few years, when we’ve come to know everything there is to know about each other and we’ve built up something akin to friendship, our terms of agreement can change.”

  “I will never be your friend.”

  “You’ve been more friend to me than anyone in over a decade—hating me or not.”

  She choked as if that meant something to her. As if that small confession affected her. Her body might be affected but her words were cruel. “You’re insane.”

  “Perhaps.” I shrugged. “Or just damaged enough to be immune to whatever charms you’re trying to use against me. How am I supposed to know if sex between us wasn’t a lie? You acted as if you wanted my cock, you moaned as I thrust deep inside you, you kissed me back...but was it real? It could’ve all been an act. You could be lying—”

  “I came in your arms, you monster. I’ve never felt anything like that with anyone—”

  “Yet you’ve never fought for your life before.” Cupping her cheek with my empty hand, I bent and kissed her softly. “It could’ve just been the adrenaline talking.”

  She ripped her face away, hissing, “It wasn’t and you know it! That’s why you’re so afraid of me. Why you don’t want me to go. Admit it. You can’t stomach the thought of saying goodbye!”

  I stiffened. “Careful.”

  “I’m done being careful. If you don’t have the balls to admit it, I will. I’ll confess it for both of us.” Her eyes shot pure fire. “What happens to you when I touch you, huh? Do you feel it? Does it burn in your blood? Does your stomach cramp and heart fist? Has that happened with anyone else?”

  Christ yes, I burn. It hurts more than I can stand.

  I bared my teeth. “From what I just told you, you should know the answer to that question.”

  “Fine. You were abused. I get it. I won’t belittle what you’ve lived through because that isn’t who I am, even if you are using your past to terrorize my future. But I will do whatever’s necessary to wake you the hell up!”

  I scowled. “I suggest you rein in your temper.”

  “And I suggest you open your damn eyes. There’s something more between us. We both know it. We both don’t want it. We both wish it didn’t exist, and neither one of us understands how it happened, considering we would rather kill each other than be kind. You need to let me go. You need to admit the real reason you can’t is because you’re starting to feel something.” Her cheeks blazed, and her nipples pebbled as her skin puckered with goosebumps.

  She acted as if she was about to put a curse on me. Another one. Curses upon curses, layering me in hexes and damnation.

  Clamping a hand over her mouth, I growled, “Shut up. You’re just proving your stupidity. Proving that every word out of your mouth is wrong. I should gag yo
u as well as bind. I don’t have to listen to—”

  She bit my palm, tore her face away, and spat at my feet. “Gag me, and next time I attempt to kill you, I’ll succeed. Feelings or no feelings.”

  I pressed against her, skin to skin, lust to lust.

  That everlasting spark between us switched from a burn to a blaze. The forest became alight with it, the rain glittered with it, my blood hissed with need and want and yearning.

  “Your mouth will get you hurt.”

  She tried to step back, colliding with the door. “Your stubbornness will get you nothing.”

  “I don’t want anything.” I looked deep into her eyes, hoping my words pierced true. “Especially not from you. Bodily gratification is all you’re good for.”

  She sniffed and tipped up her chin. “We’ll see.”

  “I guess we will.” Stepping away from her, I uncurled my fingers from around her keys.

  Instantly, her defiance switched to cajoling. “Wait. Don’t—”

  “I look forward to living with you, Gemma Ashford.”

  “No—!”

  In a whip fast move, I cocked my arm and hurled her keys into the forest. I threw them toward the drop-off where new waterfalls splashed over rocks and debris, falling from sky to valley.

  They made no noise as they disappeared.

  Not a single sound as they condemned her as mine for evermore.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  I COULDN’T MOVE.

  He threw them.

  He actually threw my keys away!

  Eerie emptiness filled me: the iciness of shock and the hollowness of defeat.

  Going home was no longer attainable. Escaping this monster had become an unsurmountable problem. A problem that included days’ worth of hiking to find populated areas of the national park. The logistical nightmare of not having enough rations, correct footwear, or emergency beacons to find my way out of this cave labyrinth was a disaster.

  If I didn’t die with him, I might very well die running from him.

  Him.

  God, HIM!

  Something snapped back into place within me, blasting away my shock, filling me with scalding brimstone.

  How dare he?!

  Joshua, my mother, my work, my house. God, my house. My lovely, lavender house that’d been waiting empty and alone since I’d left. Who would water my plants? Who would tell my online fans that I would never post another video, never hunt another climbing route, never be the girl I’d once been?